clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
sex in a hospital.. check
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
