Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
