He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
