my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
what day is it and did you see me today?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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