He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I need to calm my uterus...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
