No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
