there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
