Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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