there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
