Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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