I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
