You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
