omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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