went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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