I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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