who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
