he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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