Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
