best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
