Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize