Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
