It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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