It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
