She said her name was "party"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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