Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
