i may or may not be watching the land before time
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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