Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
