I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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