I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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