Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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