I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
