trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
