I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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