If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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