My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
