i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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