I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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