I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
