I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
