what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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