I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
