Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
