Cold hands, warm shart.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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