i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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