his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
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Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
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When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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