Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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