I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
