They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
