Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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