Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
