Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
