I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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