Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
