D3 body, D1 cock
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
