Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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