careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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