i already hear my dad disowning me
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize