Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
