it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
