yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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