dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
