she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
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