before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
no you cant smoke seaweed
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.