i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
We got so high we made milksteak
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up