i was born a porn star she said
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
this will be a night to untag.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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