Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
