My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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