He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
