So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
